Understanding
by Lady-Sesshy
Summary: Song fic Sesshoumaru&Kagome and Tensegia refusing to obey. Song by Evanescence Understanding Wash It All Away.


Song fic about Sesshoumaru coming to realize what Kagome means to him only to lose her and have Tensegia refuse him. Song by Evanescence-Understanding (Wash It All Away). 

Understanding

You hold the answers deep within your own mind.

Consciously, you've forgotten it.

That's the way the human mind works.

Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us to entertain, we reject it.

We erase it from our memories,

But the answer is always there.

Standing there watching the moonrise through the trees, I mentally prepared myself for the upcoming battle. In the year that has passed many things have changed, myself being the greatest among them. For now I have come to understand my father's greatest weakness, was truly strength. I was only too young to see the difference. I was taught and believed that love was not a Youkai emotion, only fools would think that the need to mate or the jealousy over a female could somehow be what they believed to be love.

Can't wash it all away

Can't wish it all away

Youkai rarely created permanent mating bonds. They are driven by the need to create strong offspring; the males only care about finding a female strong enough to continue their line, and only staying near until the birth of their pup. Most pairs cannot stand to be in the presence of one another and may never meet again. Inu Youkai are not that different from other species only have a stronger sense of loyalty, the greatest vow an Inu can make is one of protection, for it binds them to another for the duration of that ones life. Such vows are made only to pups and have gone so far as to allow older pups to slaughter the parent without them defending themselves.

Can't hope it all away

Can't cry it all away

While never vocalizing such a vow I so bound myself years ago to the child that I now call my ward. Now I find that I have committed my loyalties to another without a conscious effort. Kagome has held my attention since the moment I saw her trying protect that damnedable half-breed; I am forced to call a brother. Over the years my interest combined with respect for her power to be wrapped in respect for her protectiveness of her loved ones. Her only flaw being her compassionate nature and ability to forgive, for these are truly foreign conspects to me but even these I began to admire about her.

The pain that grips you

The fear that binds you

Releases life in me

Closing my eyes I try to clear my thoughts, such revelations are not welcome in preparing to fight our greatest enemy, in the hours to come his defeat will insure the safety of all. Nothing can be settled until this threat has been eliminated. Hearing a small sound in the trees I turn to greet the new arrival.

In our mutual Shame we idolize

To blind them from the truth That finds a way from who we are

"I'm sorry for disturbing your meditation Sesshoumaru, but the others would like to know if you will be participating in battle strategies before we leave." Kagome asked as she came into sight. With a small nod, I began walking back to camp with her beside me.

Please don't be afraid When the darkness fades away

The dawn will break the silence Screaming in our hearts

Night has fallen again and still they battled. The enemy had attack at dawn trying to catch us unaware; things have not been going well for the last few hours. The Slayer and Neko are now protecting the Monk after he thinned the enemy horde with his wind tunnel, but now was poisoned by Naruku's insects. My dragon is shielding the pups as Kagome purifies anything that comes near them. Inuyasha was exhausted and could no longer stand alone, leaning against a tree he continued to release one Wind Scar after another at our enemies. I myself was beginning to feel the effects of the prolonged fighting; after several serious wounds received I cannot keep from transforming into my Inu form.

My love for you still grows This I do for you

Before I try to fight the truth my final time

Finally our enemy shows his true self, our plan was for me to distract him while Kagome and Inuyasha could combine their attacks to destroy him and retrieve the shards. As we began I fought until I felt the wave of power coming behind me, but didn't move until I felt its start to burn my fur to insure that the enemy could not escape. In my true form I was not able to move fast enough to avoid being hit also, as I fell to the ground changing back into human form I felt Tensegia pluse through my body sustaining my life in this world. Almost to weak to stand I turned to see the defeat of our enemy, only to see him laugh as his body disintegrated "Well done Miko, you may have managed to deliver a death blow but I have decided that you will accompany me."

We're supposed to try and be real.

And I feel alone, and we're not together.

And that is real

As if the words were all that was needed a bright bloom of crimson appeared on the left side of Kagome's chest where a small spear made of one of Naruku's tentacles was imbedded. Enraged over the shock and pain on her face I transformed again to hurry his death along. As my rage cooled I returned to human form and rushed to Kagome's side.

Can't wash it all away

Can't wish it all away

Can't cry it all away

Can't scratch it all away

As I approach the smell of her blood was almost overpowering, I knew their thoughts from the looks on their faces, they were devastated by the knowledge of her immanent death. As Inuyasha left to retrieve the shards for her, she began her goodbyes to the others receiving small kisses of farewell as they each backed away when she asked for privacy to speack with me.

Lying beside you Listening to you breathe

The life that flows inside of you Burns inside of me

I stood at her feet looking at the spear that had pierced her heart. It was bleeding slowly but steadily, the urge to snatch the offending object out was maddening; only the knowledge that in some twisted morbid way it was keeping her with us longer stayed my hand. She smiled at me and began to whisper too softly for the others to hear but just loud enough for me.

Hold and speak to me Of love without a sound

Tell me you will live through this And I will die for you

As Inuyasha return with the shards we watched as they were purified and fused whole again, it had been decided earlier as to what wish would be made and what would happen to Kagome afterwards. Closing her eyes the jewel began to glow and released a powerful wave of magic, as it resets the lives destroyed by Naruku. As both strangers and lost family began to appear in the clearing along with the Slayer's brother and Inuyasha's former love, the jewel's light began to fade, as did the body of Kagome. I tried to draw Tensegia to keep her from fading or at lest restore her life for when she returned to her own time, but it refused me. It was using all it's power to keep me alive and would not stop to save another. As the others greeted their friends and loved ones, I left heading back into the forest. Ordering the dragon to carry my ward back to the fortress I began to walk aimlessly.

Cast me not away Say you'll be with me

For I know I cannot Bear it all alone

Days have passed and I find myself staring down into the dry well Kagome used in her travels. Her scent still clings to it thickly. So many thoughts and doubts fly though my mind it is dizzying. I kneel to put a steadying hand on the rim, and feel it tremble. A sudden flash of blue light blinds me, but I cannot seem to make my hand release the wood. When my sight clears I leap into the well and return with the peaceful form of Kagome. She had been washed and redressed in a beautiful forest green kimono, also her hair brushed to a silken soft mass. She had been lovingly prepared and returned. It hurt even more to look upon her now closed eyes and remember the fire that glowed form behind them before.

You're not alone, are you?

Never... Never.

Holding her tight I began to fly towards her traveling group to allow them the honor of holding a burial ceremony, only to find that they had parted ways and begun there own lives anew. Rage and a small amount of gladness filled me, I was only returning her out of duty and honor, but now I could keep her to myself.

Can't fight it all away

Can't hope it all away

Can't scream it all away

It just won't fade away, No

It took days to accomplish what I wanted, but was happy with the results. Not being able to bear the thought of earth or fire as her pier, I poured over my library in search of an alternative. I finally found a spell that would keep her safe from time and the elements, perfect as she was now.

Can't wash it all away

Can't wish it all away

Can't cry it all away

Can't scratch it all away

Hundreds of years have past I have seen the time that she came from and that to is beginning to fade into history. Only she remains unchanged, for even I have started to enter the years of final aging. Though I look barely 40 more than 2000 years have I lived and may see a few hundred more, but I am the last of the Youkai and have been for years. I only chose to remain this long to see and experience her world first hand, and now I chose to sleep.

Can't fight it all away

Can't hope it all away

Can't scream it all away

It all away It all away

It has become legend that somewhere in the high mountains of Japan there is a fortress carved into the side of a wide mountain. Only those who have the ability to see beyond mortal sight have been there and seen the wonders inside. A masterpiece of ancient history perfectly preserved, but the true wonder is what could be seen though the doors of the Lord's chambers. There upon a huge gold silk bed laid a beautiful raven-haired woman in an old-fashion forest colored kimono and holding her was a large stunning male; whose facial markings, pointed ears, and claws made it obvious that he was not human. Many that have seen and heard debate about who they are and what he was, but they all agreed that theirs was a love story no matter how it ended.

But the answer is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.


End file.
